For so long I have heard this scripture quoted and used in the wrong context.
A lot of women laying claim to the 'good thing' aspect of the phrase and men also holding on to the 'findeth' bit as though acquiring a trophy... but both are wrong without the backdrop of what it is really saying.I tell people all the time, you do not become a wife at the altar, you become one before the altar...the exact scripture says "He who finds a 'wife', finds a good thing" unfortunately people hear what it does not say.
It does not say- He that GOD finds a wife for, nor does it say- he that finds a woman and makes her a wife...hmm...this means she must be a wife when he finds her, he just makes her his wife...so practice before you are found, no magic happens when you say "I do".
I have met with a lot of couples who thought that the pastor will wave a magic wand at the altar and both of them will be transformed into husband and wife... sorry it does not happen that way.
A football player may have never played in the professional league, but he will adjust to the regimen easily because he has been playing football, just not professionally.
Men and women who desire to be married should be playing the game period, this will make it easier for them to adjust when they do get married.
Men you can't wait until you are married to open the door for your wife, practice now with other women...you have to practice.
I have a philosophy, unlike the saying "practice makes perfect" which means if you practice beating up on your partner you become good at it...my twist to that is...practicing right things brings forth right perfection...
Unfortunately, not all women are wives...because in order for her to be called a wife, she has to have the wife like characteristics already in place... some women say things like, I will do that when I get married, I will do that for my husband..
I propose to you that if you are not doing it now, it may be difficult to do it in the future... not even for your husband...life is full of habits, if it is not one that has been cultivated, it becomes more difficult...yes there are certain things that we will do as a compromise for a relationship, but there are others that require previous experience and not on the job training...
Since the scripture does not say- he that GOD findeth a wife for; why have so many people resorted to believing that they do not have to do anything to make it happen? GOD will make a way... don't get me wrong, GOD can find a wife for us, or at least help us with eliminating, but it is not HIS job, it is ours... Our experience here in this world, is ours, we are free moral agents, we develop tastes and habits on our own and they help form what we want in a wife/husband...that is why the scripture says "he" that finds... we have a responsibility to do that much...besides, if we really think about it, there was only one time that GOD gave instructions to someone (Hosea) who to marry, and she was a harlot, not sure that most of us will be able to handle that...
In order for a man to 'findeth' though, he must be ready, he must be a husband... he must have studied what it means to be a good man, and practiced...a woman also ought to have done the same.. there are enough examples biblical and worldly for both.
A woman who desires to be married must also place herself in a place where she can be found... I don't go out and I don't do this and that, will not help... make it easy for you to be found...pray consistently for discernment... If you want GOD to bless you with a child, you can pray all day for years on end, but if you do not lay up with someone, it will never happen... so there are some blessing that require us doing something not just waiting on the LORD as we have heard so many times... Jacob waited on Rachel 7 years after Leah, I don't remember him asking GOD if it was right or wrong, that was who he wanted...
All I am saying here is, let's not act as though there is nothing for us to do, men if you don't know how, ask... there is an older man that will be willing to share with you, then take what you get and make them yours and practice...women, do the same, you already know what it takes to keep a man, if you can't cook, learn, don't let anyone tell you it does not matter, or that you are too fine for him to care that you can't... please don't encourage the secretary who does cook to step in and take your place...
You’ve been served, it’s a buffet, and you can eat as much as you want or nothing at all. You can even bring your own food to the table. Share your agreements, comments, disgusts etc…all are welcomed. I don’t know it all; I am a student of life, for life.
Kehinde Dacosta-Lawrence is one of Paulina and Jonathan’s twin boys. He is a student of life, for life...
