Hello Peeps, Its time for us to ask ourselves what the perfect excuse is. Rather than run from the responsibility of answering this question, the manner, and time to give the excuse is in our hands.
It is probable to say that babies love their new toys and switch on to the next new thing when the time is right. Note: even babies have the perfect excuse.Relationships in the stage of novelty have a way of enveloping your entire being and consciousness. Why then does either party give the ‘perfect excuse’?
It was a sunny day at the beach and I watched the couple who looked like they were made in heaven stroll pass me. I will not deny the fact that I was somewhat envious of what they shared. I buried my head in shame for want of what was not and suddenly the bubble burst. They screamed at each other as they walked briskly, she picked up her mat and made for the car park. I was curious. I followed. It was then she became audible. “You always say I am contentious! That is not fair!” she broke down in tears and my heart was with her.
What is contention? When did it become a crime to be assertive? It’s okay to want to be the man but what is wrong with being a nice man. Now he refers to her as contentious, it becomes his ‘perfect excuse’. Oh please! There is nothing wrong with saying what you feel, but what makes you more an Icon, is the ability to say it is over without a trivial excuse such as the ‘perfect’ one. From being contentious, he might suddenly realize she was never as beautiful as he thought. She on the other hand might realize he just enjoys putting her down. Where does the buck stop?
On the other hand for a man and woman to share a relationship and not have the ability to be genuinely expressive to each other there inherently would lay a problem. Strong characteristics, build, focus, etc.
What is the basis for a male female relationship? If it is sex, please indulge. If you both decide that friendship comes first, please honor one another. We never know how much people hurt until they finally speak.
From my point of view, I do believe that laying down the rules (not in a militant way) can definitely be the beginning of a more successful relationship.
Like a friend of mine says, “lets have a sit down”. That would work. All you need do is bear your minds as much as possible and let all hurt out. If you both decide its over and done with, then you both can move on. If you both think it was just a communication breakdown, pick up the pieces and pay your telephone bills. One common excuse is the “ I’ve been busy” excuse. Its a lot easier when you say “listen, you are not so important so checking up on you is not my priority….” Sounds cold but that is what they really mean to say but can’t blurt it out. If you need help, seek advice from the appropriate quarters.
Another common excuse could be the “I’ve got a headache”. When did headaches become the perfect excuse? Truth hurts but only for a while so, why not state the obvious and let your partner decipher what’s best for him or her?
*Catherine was so into her boyfriend that she could not help seeing him every day. What she could not understand was the fact that she was so attracted to him physically and all the other quarters that she could not lay her hands off him. Her shocker began when he won’t touch her but still be all lovey – dovey.
What was his excuse?
*Paul could not understand how a seemingly healthy relationship turned sour with his girlfriend. All she ever said to him was “I don’t feel up to it”. What exactly don’t you feel up to?
I am in no position to play judge but I still reserve the right to a point of view so I ask – where did the fire go? Was there a fire man who thought it was too dangerous to have two adults on fire so he put it out? Or is this a case of “ I want out” ?
When all seems strange, ask questions. This is not to say that you will not be blamed for the things you notice, it is only for clarification. When in doubt, press on…..the looming truth is always hanging around. Search for it…..
Peeps, relationships are delicate so handle them with kids’ gloves. Trying to work things out does not make you a lesser being; rather, it shows how strong you really are. If there are pieces to be picked up, do so. When the pendulum swings and the only way is the door, it’s your choice.
Is the perfect excuse the way out?
Nse Ikpe-Etim is an Actress and lives in Abuja, Nigeria.
