A girlfriend of mine came round the other day to discuss a problem she has and here were my conclusions:
Humorous discussions are often held when the focus is on men and their middle-age crisis.
A greater exploration lies in the study and analysis of women in middle-age and the Burden of Truth which weighs them down psychologically.
The greatest worry for a woman in middle-age is not what she purports it to be.Facts – there will always be a prettier, taller, shorter, fatter, poorer, thinner, richer, sexier, more or less intelligent and funnier woman, as they are born everyday.
The complexities of woman are such that what should amount to a singular worry becomes a weighty foundation for the sometimes confusing actions and reactions of woman in middle age.
One definitive thing that complicates woman is the Burden of Truth.
Man’s attitude and approach to life, with a few exceptions, is such that he will stand in front of a full-length mirror, look at or pick up his ugly, wobbly or floppy bits, let them drop with a cinematic boom!
He will pause, only for the slightest of curious moments then beam a smile because he has just found what makes those bits attractive!
It is a psychological defense mechanism that prompts him to jump into his finest threads and head out into the world to conquer it.
Woman on the other hand presents you with a lose lose scenario.
“Tell me the truth, does my bum look big in this?”. Any answer you give is the wrong one!
“Yes it does” and you become uncaring, insensitive and maybe jealous.
“No it does not” and you are one of those who are put on earth to continuosly make her look ugly while you thrive on the attention you supposedly get.
Man compartmentalizes effectively. The alphabet A is nothing else but A. It is not a precursor to B neither is it part of a 26-letter chain of Greek alphabets.
What makes woman the conniving, mischevious and duplicitous character she becomes is the Burden of Truth.
There are essentially two types of women, with a few exceptions, that worry, insecurity and untrustworthiness produces.
There is the schizophrenic sociopath who believes the world owes her something. She strives to prove that the world debt must be repaid and, more often than not, seeks to do so in a male-dominated world.
This in itself is regarded as a quest for the excesses of life as measured by the standards imposed upon them by the society they live in.
Many wwould pursue this cause by targeting old or older, but clinically bio-degrading men of any race and deep pockets. A sort of collection process of debt owed them is the usual justification.
The Burden of Truth in this instance is much different.
Cut any which way, the age-old sale of the cheapest commodity woman has to offer has taken a more modern dimension.
Standing under the street lamps at night is no longer fashionable, nightly telephone conversations with a grunting aged man at the other end holds no fascination anymore. The trade, however, remains the same.
The other type of woman, an insecure and psychotic renegade, again with a few exceptions, deems herself the ambitious, hardworking and jet-set type.
Coupled with the innate insecurities of womanhood at this stage, she seeks to reap the presumed rewards of her ambitions.
Rather than the bio-degrading older male of any race, she seeks out the younger stud, for purely sexual reasons, or one with a popular family name and/or global business connections to boost her ambition. These tail-gating puppies are usually 8 to 10 years younger.
The trade off remains the same.
The Burden of Truth for these women, particularly when they are in any form of relatonship, is the complex weave of secret considerations they have to deal with in the realities of their daily lives.
Each cause is then mirred in the comparisons they apply to their existing realities.
The older bio-degrading man suddenly becomes the image of caring, love and fatherhood while the younger stud becomes the illustration of desired virility, attention and heart-warming interest.
Man on the other hand, again with a few exceptions, has a lesser Burden of Truth. Sex is purely what it is. A momentary requirement of release whan any willing and not necessarily able specie can provide. Very much smilar to man’s requirment for food.
Usually, once over, the matter is closed until a next time. Comparissons are deemed unnecessary and burdensome, the entertainment value is highlighted upon with a smile and the matter is shelved. The realities are rarely disturb and life moves on as we know it.
Man seeks to make money simply for the accomplishment of that act. Make Money. Whatever he is going to do with it remains a mystery for many men until it is made.
Woman seeks to make money as a means of effecting running repairs. To repair, looks, body, mind, wardrobe, insecurity and sometimes establish or re-establish socal standing or validation by admiration.
In both cases men and women have a few exceptions, yours may be one of them.
Man requires validation less than woman does. The failure to achieve this constant validation, while it is not he end of the world for man, is the end of life and relationships within for woman, in middle age.
The propensity for woman to make more complex a simple issue ias a scientific study in itself.
A smile from a younger man, or even older bio-degradable, translates immediately into the end of their existing relationships, whatever those may be.
A cosy, hand-holding meeting in the darker corner of a restaurant instantly conjures dreams of a brighter future. What woman has no capacity to decipher is the intent of the man.
Secrets gradually get amassed and the Burden of truth becomes too much to bear. Woman must, in her honest, prude half of self, seek any reason to come out of her dilemma and realities looking clean, pure and victimized. Irrationality becomes the order of the day.
Hoever, here is where the nature of woman consistently lets her down.
Woman is not built to handle the myriad of complexities that for her make up, with a few exceptions of hardcores with historical traction.
Woman, more easily than man, spills her own beans. She creates dots in different actions, conversations and places without the mental agility and capacity to locate them and ensure they do not join.
When the dots are joined for them by you, woman finds the emerging illustration woo much to bear and heads to the barn with a blazing torch, crashing everything in her path.
Denial is not just a term coined by Americans in the study of human behaviour. It is a bubble many women, like my friend, live in. The Burden of Truth and the secrets therein make up the walls of that envelope and reinforce the need to remain in denial.
A wise person once said that a woman will take years to build success, stability, fortunes and happiness with you. Yet that same woman will take mere seconds to destroy it all.
In my city, the growth of the woman in middle-age crisis, is rampant, particularly the type who develops a track record of using, abusing, abrogating to self and discarding.
Boutique hotels, cosy little restaurants and city-perimeter getaways make for the duplicitous, untrustworthy woman today.
By the end, I was smiling and my friend asked me why.
The fun part was the sheer arrogance of thought that the city keeps secrets, as I already was aware of her antics, while she works hard at changing her environment to the detriment of a meaningful relationship and the products, mainly children, within.
I said to my friend “Look in the mirror, are you carrying the Burden of Truth?”
Have a Happy Easter Everyone.
What do you think?
